I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
