Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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