He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
