i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
it's like heaven, but drunker
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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