you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
smell my finger.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
