We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
