D3 body, D1 cock
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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