Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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