Porn is love you can see.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
