Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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