butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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