I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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