I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
