Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
