That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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