therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
