Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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