I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
