He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
