I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
