He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
