He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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