the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Porn is love you can see.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
