hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
