I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
