is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
