just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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