i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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