Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
