at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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