I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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