Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
