I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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