bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
