Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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