i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it hurts more in the daytime
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize