Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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