Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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