Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
