i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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