Rock
Scissors
Fuck
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
