Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
