I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
