i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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