her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
