The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
