God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
