Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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