The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
a search helicopter?!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
