I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
4 words: hood of his car
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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