Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
